by Serena H.
Being single isn’t always easy. Finding a significant other (SO) can also be difficlut but, knowing what you want makes it easier. I’ve been single for a couple years and I have watched my friends, in miscellaneous stages of relationships, try and maneuver said relationships. In this time, I have noticed a few things, but the big one is that so many people get so caught up in what they want in their SO that they forget about what they need. So I have considered ways to go about changing this
.1. Make your list!
When you go to the store, you make a list including things you want and things you need. Everyone’s list looks a little different because everyone’s wants and needs are different. The same can be said when you’re looking for a significant other. Identifying your wants and your needs are important. So many people get caught up in things they want. For example, someone who’s insanely attractive or has a certain kind of interests. They often forget about what they need, like someone who will listen to them or someone who respects and understands their mental illness. So sort out your wants and your needs and prioritize what is most important (PSST that’s your needs).
2. Adjust your list.
There’s always gonna be give and take in a relationship. Like you’ll have to not get that chocolate milk you wanted this trip but you have to have eggs. Learn to compromise in the right areas. Over time, you’ll learn, and so will your significant other, so you might occasionally get that want. If you find someone who only gives you a want or slowly stops giving what you need, don’t shop there. Find a store that has all the things you need. And you might have to go somewhere else (your friends, family, etc.) for some of your wants, like a party buddy or someone who will binge the same shows with you 3 times over.
3. Spice up your list.
There are times that I go to the store and want something like jalapenos. I only want them sometimes and I have to be in the mood for them. This is like the odd things about your SO. Like you can’t always handle it but on occasion you’re willing to buy into it. Enjoy the jalapenos when you’re in the mood. If you aren’t, don’t. Let your SO know that you need space, or that you can only handle so much of one thing at a time. Like when my best friend wants to go out and party, but I’m not always in the mood to.
4. Dealbreakers for your list.
Never have I ever considered, or will consider putting anchovies on my shopping list. Similarly, I would never put “dislikes the Office” on my SO shopping list. Everyone has deal breakers with SO’s. I know my example is a little silly but, you need to know what you can handle and what you can’t.
When you are looking for an SO, you have to be aware of what you need and what you want. Take your list seriously, don’t forget about what’s important to you and don’t be afraid to be single long enough to shop around. Get what you need and what you want. Happy shopping!